you are not your yesterdays

I will never be the same person i was yesterday. I will also never spray my lawn with herbicides and pesticides. How do these two things relate you ask? I want to allow for naturally occurring growth. Plus i like dandelions. You feel me?

Okay let me break it down a bit. when i woke up this morning i have the same hair teeth body feet palms of both hands. Well maybe i got a haircut. so that would have been something within my realm of control to change about my appearance, so not the same as yesterday. But I’m talking about the bigger picture here. Even if no giant thing happened yesterday that led to some aha!! I see things clearly now, i understand the meaning of life! I had a moment of epiphany and now it all makes sense! Even if i didn’t have one of those momemnts, i am still not the same person i was yesterday. Little moments throughout even the most mundane of days add up to change. They add up to cells sloughing off throughout my house adding to the layer of dust on my grandmothers antique furniture that i hang on to for god know what reason…thats another blog post, let me rewind my thoughts back around to my point…what the hell is my point? hmm. okay. I will never be the same person i was yesterday because we are constantly changing, evolving hanging onto to or at best letting go of what need be let go of, eternally evolving. we have to, i have to, i want to do let go of the past in order to live now. so why do i keep ruminating over and over what happened yesterday? last week last month last year when i can’t undo or redo any of those moments that my brain somehow wants to rearrange, chew and stew on over and over as though if i could just put those pieces into some discernible order i could file it into some sort of brain file that my ego is satisfied with. ah yes here is where that goes i can move forward now that I’ve thought that memory into grey tatters of what never really was in the first place. what we remember as having happened didn’t really happen that was anyway, its only our interpretation of events. So my point is, if we can allow ourselves the freedom of knowing that today we are not the same people we were yesterday, we are free to be whoever it is we want to be today. See how that lifts a burden? You don’t have to hang on to yours and others’ preconceived notions of “this is who i am”. You are not your yesterdays. you are your right now. Placing those yesterdays on your todays is much the same as spraying those chemicals on your lawn, Its an attempt to control what is naturally occuring. Growth and change. You can build upon those yesterdays, but those yesterdays are not who you are today. Allow yourself to begin again, everyday.

I should probably edit this, but in the spirit of moving forward, and in  the spirit of writing and unedited 500 words a day for 31 days, ima just carry on. Thanks for reading ❤

P.S. Here is a poem that kind of sums up what I’m trying to say in a tidy package

Nest 

we are constantly being reborn

giving birth to ourselves

building nests

cocoons

rejecting nests built for us and by us and those not yet created

constructed

tearing down

demolishing

nests cocoons webs

gestating

building waiting destroying hatching rising birthing

gathering

rebuilding

making things “just so”

or shirking those conventions

transforming

nests to strengthen our wings

nests to shelter and to hide

to nurture

to be born and be reborn

birthing ourselves

constantly becoming

subtly

or drastically

altered

it may be

why we can never clearly truthfully honestly

recall the past, what has passed

like a dream

we are reborn

from this moment

to this moment.

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