Step 2 freestyle digging

so I’ve been following along with jeff goins emails for the 500 word a day 31 day challenge. If you haven’t checked him out yet, do it, right here. He has kicked my procrastination right in the ass. Todays tip was to free write. Now here is a secret. This what i do anyway!! I do have to stop myself from going back and re reading what i just wrote, i am mindful off that. But here is a tip: don’t do that. Just write. Now the other cool thing about free writing is it makes for an excellent therapeutic tool. So i guess this post has turned into step two of my unsolicited advice givingness. After you’ve followed through with step one which you can find here. Proceed with this: take five minutes of your time to free write, just type scribble scribe your little heart out for 5 minutes. Set a timer if you need to and f your just not cool at this point with giving yourself more than five minutes of personal time. and then you’re gonna let it flow. Just allow your thoughts and write them down, the good the bad, the ugly (remember i said I’m a fan of cliches?) So what i mean is this type of thing “oh the damn cat needs food, where did i put those photos from 20 years ago i always put things where i cant find them why hasn’t my dad called me in three months, fuck i suck at keeping track of things, i really want some chocolate, why cant never do anything right, if i could just stop procrastinating i could get shit done, the toilet needs scrubbing, god i wonder what that chick from high school is up to these days, i ate to much chocolate, i have no self control, really want to learn how to become a writer but i suck at writing and i don’t know where to begin, i wish i would have gone to university to be an environmental scientist but its too late for me to start something new…..blah blah blah. Okay so here is my point, when you free write in that style (though i don’t necessarily suggest that for a blog or novel or whatever it is you want to write about) in an effort to be more mindful this is a great direction to go in. and it is the direction i am going in for this post, and I’m not editing anything for 31 days, cause thats the name of the game for this challenge. You then can look back at what the hell runs through your head when you are not being conscious of your thinking. You can monitor your monkey mind and perhaps pinpoint some key thoughts that are fucking up your chi, zen, hey you get off of my cloud happy place. Thoughts that you didn’t even know were there. Negative self criticisms and anxieties that are fucking with your otherwise sunny day. Why is this good to do? Because if you know you’re having these thoughts youre on your way to changing them. You have to be conscious of that little hamster spinning its wheel before you can figure out which thoughts you want to feed and which thoughts you need to acknowledge, get to the roots of, and feel. Yes folks at the end of the day its all about feeling. You’ve got to feel it to heal it. Its wonderful for people to go around touting the old “let it go” slice of craptastci. but here is the thing: you cant let go of something if you don’t know what fuck it is you’re hanging onto in the first place. So if something angers you, if something causes you to feel said, you have to look at the emotion under that. What is at the root of that emotion? is it disappointment? okay, so what is under that disappointment. Is is sorrow? what is under that sorrow? dig deep. You feel me? So yeah, um start with step one (you will find that in an earlier post) and then move to free writing to help you figure out what is going on in that beautiful brain of yours. For me to carve out the free space to do this, i actually wear a plastic tiara. true story. why the hell do i do that you ask? so that if anyone approaches me in my house that may interrupt this free wheeling writing time, they see the tiara and stop themselves. If they do not, i simply point to it “the queen is writing” and carry on, i don’t miss a beat because i have removed any and all feelings of guilt or obligation by clearly stating that THIS MEANS IM WRITING and i am giving no shits about anything other than what i am doing right at this moment. Go get a toque, tiara, alien ball headband, double beer can cap, seriously whatever floats your boat, and tell your people this piece of hear gear means no interruptus meiticus. I know, its very grand, but thats okay, what could be more grand than figuring out who you are and how you tick? There might be no more important thing in this life of yours.  Thanks for reading my rambling ways ❤

 

P.S. Heres some poetry

Dig

On a clear day

Out of thin air

you pull the pain

like pulling weeds

like an amateur

you fail

to dig out the roots

instead

in your haste to

“get on with it”

you pluck

and you savour

and you fucking wallow

and leave allowance

for regrowth

unaware

that every. single. time.

you pluck that weed

to keep your hands clean

you strengthen the roots

of what you do not

want to grow.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s