genuine

my smile is my armour. i guess. sometimes. i recently had someone mention while on vacation how strong a person i was. he was referring to the fact that throughout the week i had a smile on my face overtime he looked at me. i think that was what he was referring to, as that was the topic at hand. who knows though, i am assuming. i never did ask for clarification. i just laughed and said thank you. funny how we can sometimes say thank you, but not truly understand what we are thanking someone for. its the same as an apology, how often have you apologized with no true idea or understanding why you are apologizing…i digress, as i do. Smile. thats where i was going with this. i smile. i have heard it referenced a number of times, that i keep smiling. at times i am truly happy…but sometimes…when I’m truly stressed to the max i smile so hard my body aches. my muscles hence, my jaw hurts. its my armour. if i keep smiling i receive (generally) smiles in return. so thats a good thing, right? a friend passed on this saying to me, which was passed onto him by someone he used to work for. where it can from i have no idea, if you know please do let me know. the saying goes…well actually its more of a riddle…the more you give away the more you get in return…answer: smiles. Now thats beautiful!! So i do like to keep that one in my pocket. More flies with honey right? welllllll you catch the most flies with bullshit, but thats another blog post. smiles. if you look in the mirror and smile at yourself, guess what? well folks, guess what? you get a smile in return!!! and so despite my smiling issue when I’m stressed, it actually does help relieve the stress. maybe on some fucked up level stress makes me happy, stranger things have happened. I’m sure there is a very simple psychological study that correlates to that. some stress serotonin trigger or something. who knows, not me!! but even taking about all this smiling is, guess what? Yep sure enough its putting a goddamn smile on my face. a trick i have been using as well, i read it somewhere, don’t ask me where, i dunno. but i read that when you are walking down the street, count the smiles. look for the smiling faces. then you are focusing on the joy around you instead of walking around focusing on all the scowly grumpuses. that just fucks up your day. i never noticed before how many people around me are actually smiling until i started using this little technique. it works. pfffft of course it works! its all what you seek isn’t it? lets get all 90’s and quote some pearl jam ‘what you fear the most will meet you half way” ( listen i don’t know if thats an eddie original or not, if not feel free to correct me, i really cant be bothered to look it up right now ‘kay.) so if we spin that lyric on its head and dissect it a bit, the meaning is that what we are looking for is looking for us right? so I’m going to look for smiles, and wear one as often as i have a mind to. who doesn’t love to smile? well I’m sure lots of people, but whatev’s this is my blog and i wanna genuine smile. thanks for reading you lovelies ❤ heres a bit of poetry cause i like the poetries.

Oh Good How Are You

I long for a day
undappled by
these fickle salutations
these untraceable poisons
the lies disguising the roar
behind the smiles
that don’t quite reach our eyes

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